Let Go.

People often comment that they are inspired by what I write, but I have to confess something. I write for me. It's selfish. I write for the purpose of getting things out, getting them onto paper and then learning what I write. So I apologize if that offends, but it's true. On the deepest level that I have ever felt, I must evolve. I must grow and I must see the truth of who I really am and why I am here. I want more deeply than anything in the world to be authentic and to be real and to be forgiving and to be loving and to be honest and to be so intricately caring of my own Self that I am able to be here for others if necessary.

I write a lot about Trusting. For me. So I can learn to trust me trusting the Universe. Self Respect. To release my control and my manipulations of the possible outcomes and to truly 'let go and let the gods'. I write a lot about believing that if I let go, then I will not be destroyed. I will not actually die, but instead I will be provided for in the most significant way, both physically as well as internally - in my heart. In my hearts soul.

So having said that, we must set everything free. Everyone. We've read this before, "set it free and if it's yours it will come back to you." Fine. But it's must deeper than that. If Trust is to really prevail in our lives, if it's to truly benefit us and truly be a part of our moment to moment experience, then that means we have to let of the outcome of everything. Release it all. Our work, our creativity our goals and dreams. Our Relationships. Let it all go. Set it all free. Release it all into the workings of the universe and just feel the freedom of setting it all free. Look at something that you are struggling with. Something that is causing you stress. Something that is very painful for you. If it's a struggle, painful or stressful...let it go. Because if it is painful, you have not let it go. You are holding onto your story, thus, holding onto the outcome, thus you are NOT trusting. I know you want to be out of your pain, we all do. But It's the hanging on that requires resistance and it's the resistance that is keeping it in your energy and in your life. Let it go.

Once in the midst of a deeply painful shadow experience, I sat on my sofa and tried to meditate. I went into meditation and was able to see that I needed to let go of my attachment to this. I started to chant internally "let go. let go. let go." and then it became a vocal prayer, "let go paul. just let go. let go Paul, just let go. You can let go Paul." I must have chanted for at least 15 minutes or so "let go" until I felt my hand moving up towards my face. "let go paul, just let go." And then suddenly, Kapow! My hand slapped the crap out of my face and said, "Let go you dumb ass! don't you see it's causing you pain to hang on??" Well, I'm not suggesting anyone slap them selves, but I did start to laugh and then came back to my senses and realized that I really could let go of the situation. The red marks on my face reminded me through the evening that I should not pick the problem back up.

Let go of everything. Serve. Give. Love. Have Courage. Share peace. Work hard. Love unconditionally. Do whatever you want to do, and then, in every moment, just walk away. You were present. You did what there was to do. Now, let everything go. Let go of the lovers, the husband, the wife, the children, the family, the friends, the everything! Every day. Everything. Be in the moment totally willing to release EVERYTHING. We think that by holding on and NOT letting go, we will gain some kind of protection. Some kind of security about tomorrow. The future. (lies, all lies...:) I'm challenging everyone reading this, including me, let go of what is destroying your precious heart and your mind. Let it all go and watch the weight lighten and the depths of your ease and peace become the solice you've been seeking by hanging on. Let go. Set everything and everyone free. This CHOICE to let go will change your life and transform every part of your life experience.

Have a Breakdown Today & Change Your Life!

If you've never had a nervous breakdown...I highly recommend them. You pretty much lose your mind, temporarily, you lose total control and potentially you may temporarily lose lots of friends and people that simply don't want to be around you when you're having one. But that's ok, you will be ok. I promise. You have a ton of angels around you making sure you're fine. The beautiful thing about temporarily losing your mind...FINALLY.... You get to SURRENDER.

Paul

Shadow Stories

We become attached to our Story, thus learning to view most everything through it. Once we face our Shadows and compassionately invite them to release hold on us through recognizing the gifts they bring, we can release the fears and grips of the Story that causes us such resistance and pain. With Courage we can do this. Reminding ourselves throughout the day that we are NOT our Story, we are the light. We are Soul. Untouched, unscathed and unlimited. It's these Stories, told to us continually, year after year by our shadows, that keeps up from our highest selves, our greatest peace and our ultimate Joy. We can be Free and we can release our past by confronting our darkest parts and letting go of our Stories.

When you feel fear, pain, anxiety, confusion or hurt, you're remembering and listening to your Story. Observe how your mind can get wrapped up in it for a minute, then two then three then 10 minutes and before you know it, you've felt all the feelings that that story gladly brings you. About what's happened in the past or what you fear will happen in the future. In this moment, all is well and in this moment the only story that exists is the one your shadows are telling you and the one that you are choosing to believe. Let go. Have courage. Experience freedom.

I pray often:

"With Great Courage,
In this moment, I release this story,
And I Trust."

PP

You can read my other posts on Gaia.com at http://paulpennell.gaia.com/profile

The Children Will Lead Us Home....

As children we come onto the planet Knowing. Not only knowing who we really are, but knowing how to give love and receive love. We learn quickly, usually, to shut off our intuition. After all, almost everything we want to do is a NO. Everything that feels fun is a NO. All the Joys that make us laugh turn out NOT to be what our parents, siblings and social culture seem to approve of. So they say NO and they say BAD and slowly, we begin to mute and intentionally shut off our very unique and god given ability to KNOW what we want and what feels good to us. We spend the next many years learning how to GROW UP and be like the rest of the grown ups. We learn to work hard, struggle, try to figure things out, totally knowing all along that it's within us, naturally, to KNOW how to live and navigate on the planet.

Finally, one day, most of us decide we just can't live like this anymore. The guidance we have and the guidance natural to our purpose on the planet has to come forth. So we spend the next many years learning how to be like a Child.

My experience has been that when I remember who I was before I was told NO and before I was shamed into cutting off my KNOWING, when I remember that little boy, he was innocent and bright and kind and easy and giving and open. The Little Boy or LIttle Girl inside is the key to helping us remember who we really are. It won't take long. Just go back and go as far as you have to before you were shut down by your surroundings. Remember what it was like to be innocent and pure and kind. Remember how it felt to see things only in the moment. Only what was around you. Without much memory of yesterday but with pure bliss about the feelings that might happen tomorrow. This is WHO YOU ARE. This is WHAT YOU SEEK. Tap into THAT intuition and you will find the Power and the Courage that you were given when you soul came into your beautiful body. The guidance, the confidence, the passion, the COURAGE...all of that has never left, it's just been shadowed away by the ego to protect the gentle, innocent child that you once were. The children will teach us. But more than that..YOUR CHILD CAN LEAD YOU HOME.

PP

Reflections...

Don't worry about what people think of you. Of how you learn and grow. Stop stressing over how you think others see you. Stop and look at how YOU SEE YOU. How you see you is how others see you anyway. Take just a moment to look at how you think others see you and then realize that THATS HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF. Look at that, embrace that, forgive yourself and then watch yourself emerge as a more whole and complete being for everybody's good. PP

Our Power to Awaken..

Consider this:

There is a window of opportunity to wake up. You've been hearing the guidance, your intuition, your common sense....changes you could make that would create a greater connection to your higher self. Change you could choose. Courage you could muster up in order to take your life and your on purpose experience and your consciousness to that next, better, higher dimensional place. If you knew this to be true...would you make the changes? Would you want THAT connection? Would you make THOSE choices? PP

Joseph Campbell....

"To Confront one with their own Shadow, is to Confront one with their own Light." Joseph C.